I’m Sorry I Love You

                The full moon is up, with its
                Reflection shining in the
                Water, and I’m sitting here
                At the beach with eyes in tears.
                I bury my face in my hands
                To hide my ugly face from him.
                I don’t want him to see me
                So utterly miserable like this.
                                "Katherine…"
                He says.

                        —-

                I can’t see her face, but
                I can tell exactly what she’s
                Thinking, and it breaks my
                Heart to know she how she feels.
"Go away!"
                She yells, her voice breaking.
                Oh how much I want to ease her
                Pain, to embrace her, and tell
                Her that everything will be alright.
                I take a step towards her.

                        —-

                I hear his footsteps coming
                Towards me, and I panic.
“Don’t come any closer!”
                He doesn’t stop.
                My heart is racing, I don’t know
                What he is thinking, I don’t know
                What I should do.  All I know
                Is that he isn’t stopping.
                He repeats my name again,
                And I prepare for the worst.

                        —-

                                  “Katherine.  Look at me.”
                She doesn’t lift her face from her
                Hands.  I sit beside her, and
                Without saying a word,
                I tear her hands away from her
                Face, force her to face me, and
                I hold her tightly in my arms.
                                  “It’s all going to be alright,”
                I say to her.
                “I’m here for you.”

                        —-

“But…why?
I’m so confused.  Don’t you
Hate me?  …After what I’ve done?”
                My voice cracks as I try to speak
                Through my sobbing. It must sound
                Hilarious, but he doesn’t laugh at me. 
                Just holds me.  He doesn’t say a
                Word.  I ask him once again.
“Why did you come here?
Jeff… Please tell me.”

                        —-

                I let go of her, and we move apart.
                Just a little.  I stare into her eyes, and
                They sparkle like the tears on her cheeks.
                She looks so miserable, but
                At the same time, so beautiful.
                I tell her:
                                “I came here because I thought
                                That it was what I had to do.  I felt that
                                You needed me to come here.

                                I wanted to help you.”

                        —-

“Why?  Why can’t you hate me?
I want you to… hate me…”
                I will never forget what he told me.
                I always wondered how he
                Understood me so well.
                                “That would make it easier for you,
                                Wouldn’t it?  We could just go on
                                Without each other in our lives,
                                Forgetting each other like nothing
                                Ever happened between us.

                        —-

                                “No matter how hard it is for me,
                                I can’t let that happen.
                                I’m sorry, but I could never hate you.
                                I love you too much.”
                She looks down toward the ground
                In the other direction, so that
                I can’t see her face.  But her voice
                Is clearer than it was before.
“But I lost my virginity, something
So precious, to some other guy.”

                        —-

                Knowing it happened, and knowing
                That he knows that it happened
                Is one thing.  But telling him that
                It happened is something else.
                I’ve never felt so embarrassed in my life.
“How can you not be mad at me?”
                                “We all make mistakes, Katherine.
                                Some mistakes are bigger than others,
                                But some mistakes can be forgiven.
                                I admit, you made a big mistake,

                        —-

                                “But I love you too much not to forgive you.”
                She turns towards me again, with
                Tears flowing from her eyes. 
                I wipe them away with my fingers.
                She smiles
                For the first time tonight, and I
                Have never seen her so beautiful.
                And what she said to me made me smile.
“I must be the luckiest girl in the world,
To have you as my boyfriend.”

                        —-

                And with that, they left the beach with
                The waves rolling in behind them.
                And the stars above them twinkled
                And the full moon shone brighter
                Than it had any other night before.
                Neither of them will forget this night when
                Both of them poured their hearts out to
                Each other and made everything alright.
                Instead of their bonds breaking,
                They have become closer than ever before.

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